The Classic Physics Textbook Test

Which classic graduate physics textbook are you?

You are cooking a meal. How do you approach the ingredients?
Throwing whatever is in the fridge into a pan and covering it in hot sauce to hide your mistakes.	Following a highly-rated blog recipe, skipping the 4-page story about their grandmother, and tweaking the salt.
Weighing every ingredient to the milligram because tracking precise macros dictates your fragile sense of control.	Deriving the optimal heat transfer equations for the pan before concluding that eating is an inefficient use of time.
What is your ideal environment for a weekend afternoon?
Trapped in a tiny coffee shop booth analyzing the minutiae of your friend's toxic relationship.	A fiercely structured board game night where you enforce the rules with authoritarian zeal.
Drifting aimlessly through a crowded bar street, avoiding making any concrete plans.	Completely isolating yourself in the woods to stare at the sky and ignore your unread emails.
A minor household appliance breaks down. How do you fix it?
Percussive maintenance: smacking it repeatedly until it either works or breaks permanently.	Googling the exact error code and blindly following the advice of a 12-year-old on YouTube.
Systematically tracing the electrical fault with a multimeter to prove a point to your roommate.	Reverse-engineering the entire circuitry from first principles to realize the manufacturer was an idiot.
Which of these movie formats appeals to you the most?
A character-driven indie flick where people just walk around talking about their feelings for 90 minutes.	A hyper-efficient action movie where the plot is merely an excuse to get from explosion A to explosion B.
A miserable, black-and-white psychological puzzle that you pretend to understand to look sophisticated.	A sprawling, 4-hour historical epic that you'll pause three times to check Wikipedia for inaccuracies.

Inspired by David Savitt's "The Springer GTM Test"
and Arjun Maneesh Agarwal's "Classic CS Textbook Test".